I opened the April / May edition of my Carers NSW newsletter and read my own story! I have reproduced the featured article for carers who are not yet members receiving the newsletter or who live outside NSW, Australia.
A Carer Story…
I watched The Theory of Everything while on a long haul flight 30,000 metres over Alaska. My lasting impression from the film revolved around the care Stephen Hawking received from his wife, family, friends and colleagues.
The story line I took away from the screen was that Stephen Hawking developed his theories and had the opportunity to expand intellectually contrary to the devastating decline of his body because others cared for him.
“There’s no place like home” repeats Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, tapping her little sparkly red shoes . Here I am in Oz and I’m so aware that home is where I want to be. When it’s raining on a cold Sunday afternoon home is where the hearth is warm and the kettle boils ready for tea. When your feet ache from shopping all day home beckons with the opportunity to rest up on a long sofa. After a wonderful evening with friends my bed invites me to languish cozily under the covers but it’s important to get out.
We are all homing pigeons, each of us stack up memories that revolve around our homes and families. We can be ourselves in the privacy of our own homes. Our kitchens reflect our tastes, our decor reflects our personalities and our lifestyle is reflected in all our interior choices. Homes are unique, intimate and wholly our own space. We can hide from the world, we can rejuvenate, we can rest and recuperate, we can prepare ourselves and gird ourselves for our next challenge.
The Strength 2 Strength program for carers is specifically designed for family members of people with spinal cord injury:
Recently I was rear ended in my car! I was minding my own business, slowing behind a vehicle that was indicating to turn right when that screech of braking wheels makes your shoulders rise in anticipation of the thump, a glance in the rear view mirror confirmed a Masda was in my truck.
I had time to read this week about how to cope in a crisis. One helpful book quoted insight-fully that focusing on the traumatic cause of disabling injury can prolong mental suffering. Focusing on what I can do to improve the situation keeps me moving forward towards an adapted future. Preoccupation with the genesis of a disability can be at the cost of my own post trauma reformation, growth and development. It is better to concentrate on the healing process, recovery, rehabilitation and facilitate new aspirations and goals. Continue reading
I was up at dawn and cycling energetically with my chum; up hills, down slopes and around bends. My Strava (iphone app that plots course and speed) was on and we were loving the fresh bright morning. We arrived, puce and sweaty, at our local cafe for our regular coffee fix where we were greeted by a blackboard notice telling us “Never give up!”
Relaxation can be the last thing we think about during our busy day but crucially important for us all. Without a moment to remember ourselves within the daily routine we can loose perspective. Relaxation readjusts my psyche so that I am calmer and surprisingly more energised.
I was walking behind Emily yesterday and realised our Occupational Therapist at Royal Rehab based at Ryde who designed a wheelchair accessory for Emily in 2012 was remarkable! Her design is still going strong in 2014 and there’s no necessity to reinvent or adapt her original. As it’s said “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” but with time things do evolve and change is inevitable as time passes.
I was loitering in the University of Sydney Disability Services Office while Emily enrolled for semester two studies. The University produce various Counselling and Psychological Service information sheets for the students and the one entitled Tackling Change Head On caught my eye as I am trying to address major changes in my life; becoming a primary carer.
I thought I’d look at this sheet and modify its message for carers. Change can be awkward to address and experience with setbacks inevitable.The key to overcoming setbacks is; identifying exactly what I want to achieve, being clear about why it is important to me, and then figuring out what is getting in the way of taking the action that matches where I want my life to go.
I need to be clear about what changes I want and where I want to head
I need to take do-able regular steps
I need to acknowledge excuses and overcome any that pop up in my way
I must remember to learn from any wobbles and setbacks that happen but keep going.
Change can only happen with resolve, determination and focus. I am resolved to manage the changing demands within my role as carer. I also want to enjoy this life journey with Emily as our goals are intertwined; each of us wants a fully active, interesting and purposeful life – that’s achievable with hard work and a coffee on our way!
This week I reflected on another year past, another year older and I happened to read my own journal.
